Insane Games
by LNIYE
Summary: The things Bakura and Marrik do when they are bored and desperately looking for some fun.
1. Like to Lick 1

**Insane Games**

Disclaimer: No one is mine.

Once upon a time, LaNuitInYourEyes was ill and bored, so she started writing that really stupid fic about one of those summer days when nothing seems to happen, when you and your friends would like to find something to do, but no one ever suggests anything because they are all too tired to find.

So... Once upon a time, on a day just like that, Marrik and Bakura found each other, and decided to spend their time together, by doing really weird stuff, while unintentionally freaking out their victims ( A lot of people, especially Seto Kaiba and his brother ) with their really creepy activities, such as...

**Insane Games**

_First Chapter : Like to Lick 1_

It was a bright and sunny day. Yami Bakura was walking on the street, with really nothing to do. It was really hot outside, and they were still in the morning.

- '' I am soooooo bored... ''

When suddenly, he saw someone he did not see for a long time. His pal in crime, the sadistic, psychopath, and yet interesting Yami Marrik, who was bowed down on the street, in front of the Kaiba Corp tower.

- '' Good Day, Marrik, how are... wait, what are you doing?''

- '' Hey there, Bakura. I was bored, so I am trying something new. I was licking all the things I could see, just too see if it tastes good. ''

Bakura had one of those cruel smiles he makes sometimes. He kneeled down in front of Marrik.

- '' Sounds like an interesting plan. Is that a new plan to steal the Millenium puzzle? ''

There was a long silence. Marrik was staring at Bakura with a puzzled look.

- '' Uh... No. '' he simply answered. '' I am just licking things.''

- '' ... Oh. I guess that's nice. Can I do it with you?

- '' Sure! ''

Marrik was now with his partner, so he could expect good things. Well... Good things for him, that is... Let's just say that some people do no like this partnership at all. This peculiar team had the habit of making people insane. Bewaaaaaaare...

Bakura and Marrik licked the sidewalk.

- '' Hmmm... That's weird. I can taste people... I can taste Seto Kaiba...'' Bakura commented.

- '' Yeah... And I can taste his brother... I wonder why...''

The two of them got on their feet, not bright enough to think that maybe the taste came from the countless people passing by. Some persons were staring at them, apparently wondering if they were just insane... which they were...

Suddenly, Marrik started to point a tree.

- '' Oh, look! A cat! Our next experiment!''

Marrik swiftly climbed up the tree, took the cat, and came down, using his impressive agility. Remember. It's Marrik. He's able to jump on the rooftops of the city.

It was a small white and orange kitten. It was actually very cute.

- '' Alright! '' Bakura exclaimed. '' Let's lick it!''

Marrik licked the cat.

- '' Oh, it tastes... uh... furry.''

Bakura took the cat, to see if it really tasted that furry. But before he could lick it, he heard a strange noise, that sounded like a motor.

- '' What the... Marrik, do you hear that strange sound?''

- '' Yes, I do. What can it be?''

Bakura looked at the cat. It felt like it was _vibrating_ in his arms.

'' Maybe it is scared '' he thought.

He took the cat in a way that it's face was on the same level as his, and the strange sound got a bit louder. He pressed the cat against his ear, and he noticed that the sound came from the cute little animal. Bakura smiled, and gave his conclusion to Marrik.

- '' Marrik, this sound comes from the cat! The cat has a motor! ''

He put the cat in Marrik's arms, proud of his intelligence.

- '' Are you sure? Maybe we should ask Mokuba, he loves animals, he knows this kind of things, '' Marrik stated.

Bakura shook his head.

- '' He's never there when we need him... ''

- '' Are you stupid or something? ''

Bakura and Marrik spun around. Mokuba Kaiba was standing behind them, his arms crossed, looking a bit angry.

- '' Oh, Mokuba... Look, the cat has a motor! '' Marrik said.

Mokuba sighed, wondering what kind of person other than them would think something like that.

- '' Maybe we should dissect it. '' Bakura said.

- '' Noooooooo... '' Mokuba said desperatly. '' The cat is simply purring. It means that it is happy.''

Bakura blinked, and Marrik's eyes widened.

- '' ... Happy? '' they both said.

Marrik put the cat on the sidewalk. It climbed again on the same tree.

- '' Anyway, we licked it. '' Bakura said.

- '' ... What? You... Licked it? '' Mokuba said suspiciously.

Marrik nodded, smiling.

- '' Yes, today, we decided to lick the things we see. It's amusing, you should try it one day. We already licked the sidewalk, and this cat.''

Mokuba looked disgusted.

Bakura took Marrik by an arm, and he led him further away. Having nothing else to do, Mokuba just stood there, patiently waiting for them to come back.

- '' What is it? '' Marrik asked.

- '' I can see our next victim.''

Marrik looked around himself, wondering what it could be.

- '' What is it? ''

Bakura pointed Mokuba, who was climbing in the tree where the cat was.

- '' ... The tree? '' wondered Marrik.

- '' No. the delicious-looking amount of flesh and blood climbing on it. ''

Marrik stared at Mokuba, who was now sitting on a branch, pettin the cat beside him.

- '' You mean Mokuba? '' he asked with disdain.

- '' Yes. ''

- '' Uh... I am vegetarian. ''

There was a long silence. Bakura looked shocked. How could such a cruel character eat only broccolis and apples? It was far beyond his understanding.

- - - - - - -

So? How was it? Please, send me a review...


	2. Like to Lick 2

**Insane Games**

Once upon a time, LaNuitInYourEyes realised that she had quite a success with her dumb story. She is now giving you her second chapter, hoping you will like it as much as the first one. Good luck, and have fun!

As for the mistakes she made... Well, it is difficult for her to write a decent humorous story, you know... And besides, this chapter is not as funny as the last one.

**Insane Games**

_Second Chapter : Like to Lick 2_

- '' What are you talking about? Vegetarian...? ''

Bakura was still looking at Marrik with wide eyes. It was like a nightmare! The twisted minded Marrik Ishtar! Eating oranges and spinach! Eeeewww...

Marrik was looking at Mokuba with disgust, thinking : how can someone want to eat flesh, Mokuba's flesh, of all people? Eeeewww...

Mokuba was petting the cute little kitten who was purring under his hands, staring at the two Yami with suspicion, wondering : I do hope they will not try to eat me. If they try to, I will tell them that the last time I washed myself was two months ago.

Eeeewww...

- '' Okay, Marrik,'' Bakura said. '' I will lick him, and I will tell you how it is. I will taste his delicious skin, and then, I will bite his cute little butt, and then, his tasty looking lips, and then... ''

Eeeewww...

- '' I think I'm gonna throw up! '' Marrik cried. '' Stop it, for all the gods and godesses of the egyptian pantheon's sake!''

And he ran away to a random building, well, not that random, because it was the Kaiba Corp Tower, but anyway...

- '' O...Kay...''

Bakura approached the tree where Mokuba was. The small boy was looking at the direction where Marrik went.

- '' Is he okay? '' he asked.

He swiftly got off the tree, and started glaring at Yami Bakura.

- '' Yes, he is okay. Mokuba? You remember what we were doing, me and Marrik?''

Mokuba nodded, smiling. Poor little kid, he did not know what the psycho had in store for him.

- '' Well, we found our next victi... Uh, our next mea... uh, wait, I mean, our licking target.''

Mokuba, being the sweet and innocent child he usually is, just stood there, a cute look on the face, as Bakura was drooling at the pervert thought of tasty juvenile flesh.

- '' I... I will... lick your... delicious butt... '' bakura said, drooling.

Mokuba's eyes widened. By experience, Mokuba knew that he was in all the thoughts of a whole lot of perverts.

- '' I always knew you were a psychopath, but I never knew you were a... a... a pedophile! ''

Bakura's reply was not of the brightest.

- '' Give me your butt ! ''

- '' Do not touch me! I did not wash for the last five months! ''

Mokuba, not knowing what to do, started running in some direction. Fortunately for Bakura, Mokuba's hair were so damn long that he simply caught them. He grabbed Mokuba by his shirt and lifted him. ( Am I really writing this? )

As Bakura was starting to undress a crying and kicking Mokuba, the small boy's savior appeared out of nowhere.

- '' **LEAVE MY LITTLE BROTHER ALONE! **''

- '' Ohmygod! '' Bakura whispered.

Yup, the savior was Seto Kaiba. Oh, he sure did not look like he was in a good mood. And Bakura knew that things could become dangerous when seto looked angry.

- '' I am sorry, Kaiba. I was just trying to eat your brother. ''

- '' That is one of the most stupid things I heard today. ''

- '' You look, uh... angry.''

- '' Yes. Look at what that dumb friend of yours did to me! ''

Seto was covered with... Well... Yami Marrik was feeling sick, wasn't he? That is when Marrik popped from Seto's behind.

- '' Hello, '' he said. '' I feel much better now. ''

His eyes widened.

- '' By all the gods and godesses of the egyptian pantheon, what are you doing to little Mokuba? ''

- '' Uh... I was trying to lick him.''

The psycho turned his eyes towards Mokuba again, who simply looked terrorized, and he made yet again a bright request.

- '' Let me lick your butt! ''

- '' No, please! Seto's butt tastes much better !''

Seto cocked an eyebrow, as Yami Marrik carefully approached the kid and the psycho.

- '' Bakura, can't you see he is scared?'' he asked.

- '' No. He is purring, '' Bakura replied.

Loooooooong Silence...

- '' What? '' the three other boys asked.

- '' Well, when the cat was vibrating in my arms, Mokuba said it was purring, which meant it was happy. So, Mokuba is just happy. ''

Loooooooooooong silence.

- '' Uh... He is shaking out of fear, '' Seto explained.

- '' Besides, I am not a cat, you dork! ''

Bakura nodded, even if he did not really understand what they were talking about. His Hikari was far to stupid to feel fear and tremble, and never should we see the king of thieves be scared.

- '' Anyway, guys... Oh, look! '' Bakura exclaimed, pointing behind Seto and Marrik. '' A flying potato! ''

- '' Where, '' the two boys asked, turning around.

While they were busy staring at the sky, Bakura resumed his previous activity of tasting Mokuba. He pinned him to the ground, Mokuba on his own stomach. Yami pulled the little boy's pants, revealing his oh so wonderful butt. Mokuba was screaming, but Seto and Marrik were too busy searching for the potato to do anything.

- '' Do not do this, '' Mokuba pleaded. '' You will regret it, I swear! ''

Bakura bit his but, and his eyes widened.

- '' AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! ''

Five... Minutes... Later...

- '' I told you that you would regret it. ''

Bakura was sitting in some corner, looking paranoid, and feeling pain in his jaw.. The other boys were staring at him.

- '' No... No... Where is the flesh?...''

- - - - - - - -

Send me a review, please!


	3. Like to Lick 3

**Insane Games**

Once upon a time, LNIYE broke her foot, but she managed to get to her computer, wanting to write some stupid and funny things. She also wants to wish a Merry Christmas to all the reviewing people, or simple readers. Oh, and... In case you were wondering, the titles of the chapters will not always be the same.

**Insane Games**

_Third Chapter_ : _Like to lick 3_

Yami Bakura stopped being paranoid after at least ten minutes. He was ready to resume his previous activities of licking every single things he saw, and his next target was just in front of him.

My god, Seto Kaiba was so good looking! He was sexy, handsome, suave, serious, overflowing with charm and the smell of Yami Marrik's vomit. Bakura could have resist the last one, but Seto's sexiness could still be sensed. Okay, Bakura did not care about his charms, he only cared about the taste of Seto.

- '' Kaiba, can I lick you? '', the psycho asked. '' Considering the fact that your brother nearly broke my teeth with his butt, this is the least you can do to repay me.''

Seto turned his cool stare toward him, and declared in all his glorious sexiness...

- '' I consider that it is your fault. Trying to eat my brother can be considered a criminal act. ''

- '' But... '' Bakura started.

- '' **And**... Mokuba did tell you it was not a good idea. ''

- '' But... '' Bakura wanted to explain.

- '' **And**... ''

Every body was staring at him, waiting. But Seto had seen a really interesting suspence movie the day before, and it seemed like he still had it in mind.

- '' ... Alright, I agree. ''

There was a long silence. Mokuba was staring at him like if he had no head and 3 arms. Bakura and Marrik looked at each other with a really wide grin.

- '' Yaaaaay! '' they stupidly exclaimed.

- '' Seto, you can't be serious! ''

Seto did not answer. He just stood there, looking cool, while Marrik and Bakura were dancing some weird dance. They were holding hands, and were turning around, while singing '' La la la la la, we are the best, la la la la la, Kaiba will be licked... ''. This is disturbing.

- '' Okay, guys. Hurry, I have to get back to work. '' Seto said.

Marrik and Bakura licked him in the face, happy to do so.

- '' Hey, he tastes... Sexy. '' Bakura said.

- '' Yes, and there is a hint of leather... And Mokie! '' Marrik added.

Seto cocked an eyebrow. What does sexiness tastes like? And mokuba?

- '' Thank you very much, Kaiba! '' Marrik said. '' Now, let us find our new target! ''

Mokuba looked up at his brother.

- '' Why did you let them lick you? '' he asked.

- '' If I had said no, they would have harrassed me all day long. Don't you think your brother is smart? ''

Mokuba rolled his eyes. Suddenly, Marrik remembered a little detail.

- '' Hey, Bakura, you did not tell me what little Kaiba here tastes like, '' he said, pointing Mokuba.

Bakura licked one of Mokuba's arms, while Marrik licked his hair.

- '' Oh, he tastes... hum... Good. He tastes child flesh! ''

- '' I think he tastes shampoo, '' Marrik said.

Marrik and Bakura looked at eachother at least 15 seconds.

- '' Anyway, off to our next target! '' Bakura exclaimed.

They left the Kaiba brothers behind, and they walked down on the street, searching their next poor unfortunate victim. On the street, they ran into Yugi, Joey, and Tea.

- '' Hello, '' Bakura said, while Marrik was waving.

- '' Hi, '' the others replied.

There was a little awkward silence, then Marrik came up to business...

- '' Hey, can you guys help us with a little experiment? We wish to see what you taste like.''

- '' Sure, seems interesting, '' Joey said.

- '' If it is for our friendship, yes! ''

Try to guess who said this one.

- '' Cool, '' Bakura said. '' Let us begin with Yugi. ''

He took a step toward a smiling Yugi, when suddenly...

- '' Yu Gi Ooooooooooooooh ! ''

Bakura jumped out in fright, as Marrik let out a small scream of surprise. Insert theme song here.

After some time, Yugi was not done. Marrik looked at his watch, showing his impatience. Bakura crossed his arms, and tapped his foot.

- '' Okay, then, let us begin with Joey'' he said.

Joey smiled, waiting to be a part of their experiment. Bakura licked his face, and Marrik licked his arm. The two of them looked disgusted.

- '' Disgusting! He tastes the old shoe! '' Marrik said.

- '' No, he tastes the old dog! ''

Seto appeared out of nowhere, laughed in Joey's face, and then walked away. Every body was staring. After a while, Joey broke the silence.

- '' Hey, I washed myself last week! ''

- '' Last week! '' the psychos said.

They shivered of disgurt, before turning their gaze toward Tea.

- '' Say, can we lick you now? '' Marrik asked.

- '' Sure, that is what friends are for! ''

- '' Yeah, yeah... Just give me your arm.''

Bakura licked Tea's hair, and marrik licked her arm.

- '' ...Is this what friendship tastes like? '' Marrik wondered.

- '' I say she tastes...''

But their reflexions were interrupted by a powerful...

- '' It's time to duel!''

Marrik and Bakura jumped out in fright, before turning their gazes toward him.

- '' I accept your challenge. ''

A duel disk appeared out of nowhere. Every one was staring.

- '' I believe in the heart of the cards.''

- '' Uh... We were not here to duel against you. '' Marrik said. '' We wanted to lick you. ''

- '' If it is a plan to take over the world, I will win! ''

Bakura looked angry. He approached Yami Yugi.

- '' Are you deaf? We wish to lick you! No one shall win! ''

- '' ... Okay. ''

Finally, he understood. Marrik and Bakura licked.

- '' Man, when did you wash for the last time? You taste the old dead rat! '' Marrik asked.

- '' 4000 years ago. ''

- '' Arrgh, revolting! '' Bakura screamed

They walked away, disgusted by the thought that they licked the 4000 years old pharaoh.

- '' Bakura, I am hungry. Can we go to your house, so your hikari can bake us something? We will continue the licking afternoon. ''

Bakura nodded, and they went to Ryou's house.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Review, please!


	4. Like to Lick 4, The last one!

**Insane Games**

Sorry, not as funny as the others...

_Fourth Chapter _: _Like to Lick 4, the last one!_

Marrik and Bakura were at Ryou's house. Yami Bakura dissapeared, leaving behind Ryou and Marrik.

- Hi there, Marrik! How are you?''

- I am fine, thanks. Please, bake me a cake, I am hungry... ''

Ryou smiled, and started to bake a cake. As he was doing so, Marrik was sitting at the table, waiting. He started to wonder what could possibly be the taste of Ryou. Such a shame that Yami Bakura could not taste him...

Marrik's eyes widened. Wait a second.

He could do it! He could taste him and then tell Yami Bakura how it was!

" I have to do it, he thought. For Bakura's sake! "

He stood up, as Ryou was pouring milk in a big bowl.

- Say, Ryou... Can I lick you?

- What? Why do you want to do such a thing?

Marrik took a heroic pose, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes.

- For Yami Bakura's sake! He who wanted to lick every single thing, there is yet a really interesting thing to taste that he may never be able too sense! I want to do it for his sake! Although I am a vegetarian, I will do it for his honor, to help him achieve his goals! I wish to tell him what his dear Hikari tastes like! For his honor, his pride, please help me!

He opened his eyes, to see Ryou smiling.

- Sure, he simply answered.

- I am sorry, Ryou! I have to do it for your Yami's sake!

He took Bakura by an arm and he took him to his bedroom. He tied him to the bed with a pair of underpants ( do not ask me... ) before climbing on top of him.

- What are you doing, Marrik? I said yes... Oh, look! Pink panties!

- I am sorry! I have to do it!

Marrik took a deep breath, not knowing why Bakura was giggling under him. He was sweating all over, nervous. He approached his face from Ryou's, and... Licked him in the face! (Gasp!)

His eyes started shining. He never had the chance to taste something so delicious.

- Ryou, you taste so delicious!

His eyes widened. It was Yami Bakura under him, who was staring at him angrily.

- Oh, Yami Bakura! I tasted your Hikari! What a wonderful taste! I wish you could have licked him too!

There was a small awkward silence, as the former thief was building up his anger.

- What are you doing on top of me?

- I just wanted to taste your Hikari.

- WAS IT A NESSESERITY TO TIE ME UP WITH **PINK PANTIES**?

Another silence, that broke when Tristan, Duke and Serenity came in the room

- Hi guys, Tristan said.

Then, they noticed that Bakura was tied at the bed and that Marrik was on top of him.

- Marrik, what are you doing, Duke asked.

- ...Well,uh, you see...

Serenity pointed the bed.

- Look, panties!

Duke and Tristan looked at the panties and back at Marrik.

- Panties, Tristan exclaimed.

- And they are PINK! Marrik, you are sick!

But as Duke was saying this, Tristan was taking the panties, untying Yami Bakura. He started sniffing the underwears.

- Hmmm, it smells girly. May I keep them, Tristan asked Bakura

- Sure you may, he answered.

He pressed the panties against himself, happy.

- But in exchange, we will lick you all, Marrik said.

- Eeeeeeeeew, Duke said. You are reeeeeally creeping me out.

Bakura rolled his eyes and he licked him in the face.

- Marrik, taste him. He tastes like dice.

- And what does a dice tastes like, Duke asked.

- I do not know.

- Oooooooh...

Marrik decided to taste Tristan instead of Duke.

- You know what, Tristan? You taste like a cardboard box.

Tristan was not listening. He was too busy sniffing the underpants. They both licked Serenity and they jumped out in fright.

- Oh my god, Bakura said

- By Nefertiti's teapot, what is that? She tastes EVIL!

Serenity's eyes started glowing red while flames appeared at her feet. The Yamis were stepping back with a startled Duke and a panty-sniffing Tristan.

- One day, Friendship and Chipmunks will rule the world! Tea and myself, we will be at the top of it all as the queens of the new world!

Flames and glowing eyes dissapeared in a glimpse as Serenity was bowing her head with a sweet smile.

- TeeHee!

Bakura and Marrik were blinking.

Tristan, Duke and Serenity started to leave.

- Oh, Tristan, Bakura called. I almost forgot! Those panties, bring them back to Yami Yugi! After all, they are his!

As he was putting the panties in Serenity's arms, Bakura shut the door, to remain alone with Marrik.

- I am tired of licking, he said.

- Me too, Marrik said. So what shall we play next?

- - - - - - - - - -

Hope you liked, please review!


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